


cooking lessons

by bluelongan



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Cooking, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:00:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27043123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluelongan/pseuds/bluelongan
Summary: give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; give this man a fish and you witness utter dismay.
Relationships: James Bond/Q
Comments: 8
Kudos: 52





	cooking lessons

"Do I just… stab it? Cut off the head?"

"I asked you to _slice_ it, not kill it again." 

The blank-eyed fish lying on the board in front of Q returned his look of complete helplessness. He was starting to feel sorry that it ended up in his hands.

"I've no idea where to start," he lamented, giving the lifeless flesh a few experimental pokes with the knife. While he wrestled with the temptation of letting his cats have a go at it, James poured melted butter into the heated pan, filling the air with sizzling and an aroma that made Q's stomach grumble and his annoyance grow. A touch of the slimy scales had Q wrinkling his nose in disgust. What he wouldn't give to have the comforting touch of cold, rigid metal instead. 

The source of his annoyance was a breeze of accurate measurements and precise movements in the kitchen. After all, a double-oh can't just serve a simple bowl of salad when their reputation was on the line— unless they made up for it with another set of skills. James was one of the lucky bastards who had both. Q can (reluctantly) attest to that.

The master of all trades decided to show off again. Q watched him with a hint of envy as James moved seamlessly from step to step— far from the hesitant, inexperienced klutz he was. When James cracked two eggs in quick succession without spilling a drop or letting the tiniest bit of eggshell fall into the mixture, Q felt compelled to clap.

Sensing his awe, James questioned: “Have you really never cooked before? I thought you’d have known something in that big brain of yours.”

The quartermaster scrambled to recall what little he had cooked. "Apart from the bare basics? Nothing. Well, I’ve never burnt anything I cooked.” You had to try really hard to screw instant meals up. “I also know how to brew tea." James snorted, earning a scowl from Q. "It's not as easy as it looks! Besides, I never really needed to cook a proper meal. You should know why."

"The cafeteria food is crap. You've just gotten used to it."

"I do apologise for my _unrefined palate_." His jibe went unacknowledged by said professional as he gave the pan a quick thrust, making the omelette do a little flip in the air. It landed with a satisfying plop and slid onto the plate with a tilt of the pan, then James tied up that flawless performance with a sprinkle of chopped parsley for garnishing. A perfect omelette from a perfect man. 

"You might as well put a bow on it," Q said, prompting a chuckle and a genuine question: “Do you at least know how to cook an omelette?”

"They were edible, if that's what you're asking."

"Good to know you're not completely useless in the kitchen."

"How flattering. Care to demonstrate your expertise on fish, Mr. Ramsay?"

"Gladly.” Q dropped the knife with barely concealed relief. James tutted and picked it up. “Watch and learn.”

"Take it away then," Q sighed. A steep learning curve can be intimidating, but he was Q. If he could actually develop a tolerance for broken equipment, anything else would be a piece of cake.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! kudos and comments are very much appreciated. :)


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